I was not ready to lose you.
But you were taken from me, anyway.
Suddenly.
On a sunny day that started so normally.
Without any sign of the emotional pain to come.
Abruptly.
Life’s like that, I guess.
It shouldn’t be that way. It just is.
Unfair.
Losing a loved one is always hard.
Losing a father at a tender age is as hard as it gets.
Wrenching.
I was more than a boy.
But, not yet a man.
Becoming.
You were meant to be my guide through that stage of life.
You were supposed to be my mentor as I grew.
Transitioning.
I had to do a lot of growing up fast in those early years after you passed.
I had to be strong for Mum.
Maturing.
The sad thing is I have more in common with you now than I had then.
I share your love for photography and classical music.
Passions.
Oh, the conversations we could have had.
I don’t even know which classical composers you listened to.
Wondering.
So many things left unsaid.
So much potential.
Gone.
I would have been a different man if you had stayed.
In ways that I will never know.
Unguessable.
I’ve been told I look like you.
That gives me much consolation.
Comforting.
I feel like, in me, there’s a part of you that lives still.
I carry on your name.
Heritage.
The memories may be dimmer as the years roll by too fast.
But I will never forget the values you taught me.
Integrity.
Honesty.
Trust.
Love.
Yours was a selfless love.
I never wanted for anything.
Cared for.
Loved.
One day we WILL have those conversations.
When I get to Heaven.
Future.
But I hope that day doesn’t come too soon.
Until then, keep watching over me.
I hope I make you proud.
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