Crossed Wires – a short story

“It’s this way.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Alice looked at the map. “Yes,” she snapped. “I do know how to read a map.”

 

“Okay, okay, no need to get tetchy.” Jack turned the wheel hard to the right, steering the old camper van onto a narrow gravel road. “This just doesn’t seem right. I mean, we’re not even on a proper road.”

 

Well, you wanted to get off the beaten track,” his wife reminded him.

 

“Not this far off the track.”

 

The van bounced over potholes hidden by the gravel. 

 

“I hope the suspension on this old crate is up to the job,” he grumbled. “This thing has seen better days.”

 

“Oh quit grumbling,” said Alice. “You’re the one who wanted to go camping.”

 

“Yeah, and you’re the one who booked it. We must have taken a wrong turn. There’s nothing out here.”

 

Alice traced the line of the road on the map with her finger. “It looks like the site is just another mile ahead. If we go two miles without finding it, we’ll turn back.”

 

Jack glanced sideways at his wife. “Is that your way of admitting you’re wrong?”

 

“I’m never wrong,” Alice sniffed. 

 

Jack shook his head. “You women always say that.”

 

“Although, I will admit I may have made one mistake in my life.”

 

“Go on then, I’ll bite. What was that?”

 

“I married you!” Alice winked at him.

 

Jack glared at her for a moment then laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I don’t know how you put up with me.”

 

“Two large gin and tonics every night. Nothing else would do it.”

 

The old van bounced over a particularly large pothole. Jack’s head hit the ceiling. “Ow. Dammit.”

 

Before Alice could say anything, she spotted two buildings ahead. “See? What did I tell you? I’m never wrong.”

 

“We don’t know if that’s the right place, yet,” Jack reminded her.

 

“Of course it is. You just don’t want to admit I’m right.”

 

Moments later it became obvious they’d found the camp site, as tents came into view.

 

“It looks very basic,” Jack commented. “There doesn’t seem to be much of any amenities.”

 

“Well, you wanted to get away from it all,” Alice reminded him.

 

“Yeah, yeah, you said that already. It’s just that I don’t fancy driving along this road at night. Not that there’s anywhere nearby to drive to.” He noticed something and slammed his foot on the brake, throwing them both forward against their seatbelts.

 

“Jack! What do you think you’re doing? Have you lost your mind?”

 

“Something’s not right.” Jack leaned forward, peering at the campsite ahead.

 

“What on earth do you mean?”

 

“Well take a look at those two over there, walking to that tent.”

 

Alice followed the line of his arm as he pointed to the people he meant. They were facing toward her and walking to a large four man tent. They were a man and a woman, walking arm in arm. Alice could clearly see the woman’s breasts, bouncing and unfettered. And she could see the man’s… “Oh! They’re naked!”

 

As the middle-aged couple looked around they could see other people similarly unclothed.

 

Jack turned to his wife. “What was the name of the campsite you booked?”

 

“Back to Basics, “his wife answered in a small voice. 

 

“And where did you find this camp?”

 

“On a camping website. I called the number shown on the site. I said we were looking for a back to basics sort of camp site.”

 

“Well, didn’t they give you any other information?”

 

“Only that it was very secluded and private.”

 

“I can see why.” Jack nodded to the camp.

 

“What do we do now?”

 

“I guess we go in. I don’t see that we have any other choice since there’s nothing else for miles around. Besides it’s going to be dark soon. No wonder this place cost so much.”

 

“I can’t go around naked in public,” his wife shrieked.

 

“We’ll just have to hide out in the van. Like I said, it’ll be dark soon anyway. Nobody will be able to see much. We’ll just stay for tonight and try to get some money back tomorrow. This is some vacation. At least you can’t say you’re never wrong any more.”

 

Alice huffed and folded her arms over her chest. 

 

Jack drove up to the main gate. If nothing else, it’d be something to tell his friends about at the bridge club.

 

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5 thoughts on “Crossed Wires – a short story

  1. Cute story 🙂 I could almost hear the tones of voice of the bickering couple, the dialogue was so spot on. And the finish was fun. I’m glad the man had a sense of humor about things.

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